Your adoption story is how you tell the world (and your child) about your family’s journey to parenthood. It should be a positive story about how you met your child’s birth mother and what made you decide to choose adoption. It should also talk about your child’s life before you adopted them and how you fell in love with them. It may be helpful to have a friend or family member help you write your story, because they can offer constructive feedback and suggestions.

Many families have their own personal adoption stories to share. For example, one adoptive mother started a journal for her daughter about the little miracles that occurred during the adoption process. Then friends encouraged her to turn it into a book. The result is Miracles for Marlee, a beautiful, inspirational adoption story.

However, it’s important to remember that your child’s adoption story is their story to tell. So while it is okay to tell other family members and close friends, it’s not a good idea to share too much information with strangers. For example, it is not appropriate to talk about your child’s birth parents’ medical history or their financial struggles unless they are part of the adoption triad. This kind of private information can be damaging to your child’s self-esteem. Adoptees deserve to hear their stories presented as something that is possible and positive, not a gray, murky area full of offensive semantic choices or as a plot device to ratchet up drama on TV shows.